40 days. Sugar free. Let’s do this.

The other night, I was completely wired because I had been working and classing and studying the whole day and needed a large Lee’s coffee to keep me alert. It worked a little too well haha, my fingers were shaking involuntarily by the end of 6 hours of continuous caffeine intake. 

By the time I went to bed, my resting heart rate would still not drop no matter what, so I said, “Dear God please please please please make my heart rate go down please please please thank you thank you.”

Dropped from 92 bmp to 70 bmp, before and after prayer. 

Yessssss, too good. 

On an unrelated note, I always think that the paper toilet seat cover they have in restrooms looks like a uterus. Does anyone else think of things like this or is it just because I am around biology diagrams all the time? 

My brain is sometimes just really strange. OH WELL, normal is boring, good thing there are weird people. 

Dear Friend,

You are the ultimate Provider and I trust you to give each and every person the best of the best, the thing that will helps them the most and the thing that draws them closer to you, all at the most right of right times. I will do my best to not think about taking things into my own hands. I will do my best to hear what you have to say when you say things. I will do my best to act on what you tell me to act on, and also to think before I let the words tumble out. It is hard but I will definitely give it the best shot I can give. Please help me out though, punch me in the face if needed. Thanks for a  wonderfully bright and sunny day, it is so beautiful and I can’t get over it. 

-Angela

Sometimes I am sad because I feel like I am never drawing enough to improve and all these kids that I know are totally shooting past me but then all this bio stuff has to get done but then it means I can’t draw as many pictures and GAHHH! 

My art folder is only 28.4 MB so far and it’s already been a month. At this rate I will only rack up 340.8 MB for 2012 and that is completely unacceptable when I have a 1.13 GB folder on file. 

First world problems maybe, but self improvement is important and I am not satisfied when it does not happen.

BOO. C’MON MANNNN

It’s only 11:25PM which is extraordinarily early, but after a full day of running around and driving and then watching Beauty and the Beast 3D and more driving, I feel like it’s already 3AM.

Which of course means time to blog some delirious thoughts in an attempt to sort out the information that my brain has kept as a mess for the last 3 days. Hey! Did you know there was a band called Delirious? I like that word. And I sort of like being in this sleep deprived state because it means I can’t unconsciously censor myself as well as I can in a well rested state. But the bad thing is that most of the time it doesn’t even make sense. But it’s okay, man, I’m so hungry, I didn’t eat dinner because Zorba’s was huge and I’d had enough to eat for a whole week but now I’m hungry. Guruuruuruuuuu. 

Somehow it’s really difficult for me to process exactly what happened at retreat because it kind of seems to be a blur. When I think about that word “retreat” several different still images of the past weekend flicker rapidly in my head but I can’t seem to really make sense of what it all means. It’s all very strange, because usually I am able to really decipher the core of everything that happens fairly quickly.

Well maybe I should just tell myself pictures and key words that I see so here goes: a group of girls gathered in silence in a somewhat dimly lit room, a huge group of people making all sorts of different sounds and I suppose that really actually translates to a group of people exploding with all different kinds of colors, green carpet, lots of little buttons and knobs and keys and wires, cameras, snow, orange and water bottle, a conversation on the swings in the middle of snow, a conversation that jumped from topic to topic because of some underlying and insatiable curiosity, being alone in my head, the fresh air was great but my pulse was freaking skyrocketing every time I climbed the stairs wow I am really out of shape.

Wow one thing that stuck out was sitting down at a table with 4 pastors and having them all shower praises and affirmation on me, what in the world, that was pretty awesome I have to admit.

God was definitely working and ever apparent throughout the whole weekend, but somehow it feels like none of it was quite quite directed directly directly at me. Hm. 

The idea of “feeling” things was brought up quite a bit this weekend. Feelings are really tricky buggers, maybe because they are an emotional response to a stimulus and a HUMAN response nonetheless. Wow boogers. Letting feelings dictate action can be kind of depressing sometimes and you can definitely lure yourself into a trap. Not gonna lie though, getting that NE being pumped during worship was awesome. Well HUM. 

Right now instead of being in bed I really want to be on a rock in a forest clearing and just lying there looking that the billions of little lights in the sky. And then sing for a long time. 

Man, that light on the freeway this afternoon, so magical. The heavens broke open, and I was half expecting Jesus himself to step out.

MAN every time I think about creation I just get overwhelmed. This is one of the reasons I enjoy bio. Gahhhhh. And also creating things is just a crazy thing me and God have in common and it’s totally tons of fun.

What if in heaven you could… make art with God?

…WHAT IF YOU COULD MAKE ART WITH GOD RIGHT NOW NOW NOW? 

WHOA. 

WHOA.

WHOAAAAAA!

What a fantastic feeling. High productivity levels yeeeeah!

(oh yeah I beat super mario 3d land today wooohooo productive winter breaaaak)